Doomsday
by Kamaevis
Summary: Doomsday AU in which Dean is trapped in the parallel world instead of Rose. Destiel. AU.


When the dust settled and the Daleks and Cybermen were gone, all was quiet. Nobody spoke. Nobody cheered. All eyes were fixed on the angel who was staring, unblinking, at the smooth, blank wall before him.

When he spoke, his voice was quiet, grave,

"Doctor…where is he?"

The Doctor swallowed, not daring to step closer. The angel's distress was tangible, the air crackling with the force of his grace. His palm was pressed flat to the wall, as though Dean were just on the other side.

"Parallel world," The Doctor said, "Visited it once with him, Rose and Mickey. I'm sorry, Castiel. I'm so, so sorry."

"Do not apologize like you cannot retrieve him," Cas turned, his hand still against the wall, his eyes blazing, "You have gone there once before, you can go again. Dean is needed in this world."

The Doctor hesitated. He could imagine what Cas was going through, the pain, the rage, the fear. If Rose had been the one taken, there was no doubt in his mind he would feel the same. He turned to look at her, then, appreciating more than he could say that she was there beside him. Her eyes were wet, her lips trembling, as she asked,

"We can get him, right, Doctor? We can't just leave him there."

And he hated to disappoint her. He hated to do this to Castiel. But his eyes dropped to the floor and his shoulders sagged because what use was he if he couldn't do this one thing?

"No," he said quietly, "No, the veil between our world and theirs is too fragile as it is. Travelling there and back again would shatter it and collapse both our worlds."

There was only a second before Castiel had his fingers curled into the lapels of the Doctor's suit, slamming him against the wall, eyes wide and furious, teeth bared like an animal.

"There must be something," he snarled, "Dean cannot be lost. I cannot lose him."

The Doctor's eyebrows drew up and he lifted his hands to cover Castiel's, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"I am an angel of the Lord and he is my charge. I cannot lose him," Cas insisted, shaking the Doctor as the lights burst and the windows shattered, raining glass upon the group.

The Doctor opened his mouth to apologize again—useless, he was useless—but a hand fell on Castiel's shoulder and both the angel and the Doctor turned to look at Sam, who looked broken and tired and much too old.

"I know, Cas," He said quietly, "I know."

Slowly, Cas's grip on the Doctor's suit loosened until his hands dropped limply to his sides. The fury drained from his face, and he simply looked lost. Lost and terribly empty.

Sam led Cas away, the both of them looking smaller than they actually were. The Doctor stayed there, against the wall, staring at the ceiling and wondering why, with everything that he could do, he couldn't return a man to his brother and angel.

A pair of warm hands slipped into his and a soft body pressed against his front. Rose leaned her head on his shoulder and breathed, reminding him that she was still here. She was still his. And she'd lost much today, too; she had her own tears to shed, and when he felt his shoulder grow wet, he hugged her fiercely and let her cry and apologized over and over again because, dammit, there was nothing he could do.

When her tears abated and she was clinging to him as she sniffled, she leaned back a bit and looked up at him with huge, watery green eyes and asked,

"There's nothin' you can do? Nothin'?"

And, honestly, he could never disappoint her.

—

"You won't be able to touch him," The Doctor said, "You'll only be a projection—the gap is very small. I can't tell you how much time you have, so say everything that needs to be said."

Sam nodded, shaking a little as he said, "Thank you, Doctor."

He turned to Rose, smiling a little, "You wanna say hi, too?"

She shook her head, "You two are more important to him. I couldn't take your time away. I think I'll just go watch the star," She turned to the Doctor, holding out her hand, "Coming?"

He cast one last look at the pair, then nodded, took her hand and walked with her to the door to observe as the sun died.

Sam breathed deeply, unsure if he was ready for this, to say goodbye forever. Because it was really forever this time. Not even Cas could reach Dean, now. He put his hand on the small, grey knob that the Doctor had shown him and looked at Cas.

"Ready?"

The angel nodded. He hadn't spoken since Dean had gone, not even when the Doctor had told them that they could contact Dean. Sam had never realized how profound their bond was until Dean was gone. He took a deep breath and twisted the knob and suddenly they weren't in the TARDIS console room anymore. They stood on a wide, grey beach, empty save for Dean and a small group of people clustered a few yards behind him.

Dean looked tired, drawn, but he smiled when they appeared, a broad grin that Sam hadn't seen in a long time.

"You're here," He said, "I thought- when you guys didn't come, I didn't know…"

"We're okay," Sam said, "All of us. I mean we're not—we're not actually here. We're just projections."

Dean's face fell and he looked over at Cas, eyes suddenly bright.

Sam felt his own tears burning in his eyes, "Shit, Dean, I-I guess this is goodbye? I mean," He ran his hand down his face as the tears fell, "God. I'm sorry."

Dean's smile was weak, "No chick flick moments, Sammy."

"God, shut up you jerk."

Another smile, "Love you, bitch."

"I-I love you, too…Dean," Sam choked a little, a sob catching in his throat. He turned to Cas, put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm gonna- you guys can have some privacy. I've."

Sam clapped a hand over his mouth and hurried away, bolting for his room on the TARDIS because he couldn't do that. He couldn't just say goodbye.

—

Cas stared at Dean, at the beautiful man that he had so willingly fallen for, who was now far beyond his reach. He couldn't find words to speak. Nothing seemed good enough, and he might not have long.

"Cas, buddy," Dean said, his voice breaking a bit. He wiped a hand across his mouth, inhaling shakily, "You- I mean- shit, I can't even- I don't even know what to say, now."

A bitter laugh fell from his lips as tears slipped down his cheeks. Cas longed to brush them away. He reached out and cupped his cheek, but his thumb passed through his skin. Dean still leaned into the touch, his eyes falling shut.

The hunter lifted a hand as though to cover Cas's, but it dropped back down to his side just as quickly.

"Will you…" Cas started, and Dean's eyes opened again, "Will you be…alright? Here?"

Dean shrugged, "No monsters, here, man. I mean…that's something, right? I could find my parents, but…I don't know."

Castiel nodded, wanting to say more but not knowing if he should. Not knowing if he could.

Dean wiped at his face again as Cas withdrew his hand. He breathed deeply, harshly, and said,

"Cas, I…I think that…I…god, I love you. I know that it's wrong and you're an angel and you don't feel the same, but I thought I should- because we're never gonna- shit, man."

The tears fell harder now, making his cheeks shine and his lips tremble. He looked so broken, and Cas wanted to hold him tight and piece him back together again. But he couldn't. Not anymore. Not ever again.

"It's not wrong, Dean," He said quietly, "There is nothing wrong about it. And I should…Dean…Dean Winchester, I-"

And suddenly he wasn't on the beach anymore. He was in an empty console room. Dean no longer stood before him. He was gone. Forever.

His eyes suddenly burned and his cheeks were wet and he lifted a hand to touch them and realized he was crying. He'd never cried before. Jimmy had, surely, but Castiel had never had the cause.

Rose and the Doctor returned, and Rose walked over to Castiel, putting her arms around his middle and hugging him tightly.

"It'll be alright," She whispered, though he knew she was simply speaking idle comforts. Still, he returned her hug because he needed to hold onto something. And even as he held her, he knew…

Nothing would ever be alright again.


End file.
